Monday, October 12, 2009

Belfry Beads Jewelry


My friend over at Belfry Beads has set up a blog. Check out her work. Guys, buy something for that special girl in your life. Ladies, point to stuff and make your guy buy you something special.

As for the rest of you, well... reproducing via a cloud of spores means you never need to buy jewelry, but some of the stuff is pretty so why not at least take a look?

Remember the site:

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Executive Koala

Greetings Sporefans. You may have been wondering where I've been lately. I took a brief vacation and am now back in school with a vengeance. My vacation wasn't totally uncreative, and those of you who have a copy of the game Little Big Planet (check out this dinosaur level, one of my favorites) can take a look at the level I created while I was whiling away the hours sitting on my butt. Do a search for Death Kitchen and you should find a level created by Spored_to_Death. Check out those toasters! Of death!

In any event I wanted to pop in between reading novels and get a quick review done. By now most of you must have read the Otakon 2009 review. You have read it, haven't you?

You haven't? Why? Why hast thou forsaken me?

Go ahead and read it now. I'll wait.

See, that wasn't all that bad. Now on to the review. This next review is for a movie I picked up at Otakon. I know, I know; I said that I was going to review the movie about the killer elevator, but I need to watch that another time when I'm less inebriated. In the mean time we can take a look at Minoru Kawasaki's Koara kacho or Executive Koala in English.

This movie is about a koala who works in a pickle company. Yes, that's really what this movie is about; I'm not making this up. The koala's name is Tamura, and he starts the movie working to get the company to agree to import Korean kimchi because he believes there is a youth market for it in Japan. His boss, who happens to be a giant white rabbit, agrees to the idea.

Everything seems to be going well, until Tamura's girlfriend turns up dead. This is unfortunate enough, but it appears that Tamura's wife also died under mysterious circumstances years ago. Is the koala a victim of an elaborate plot, or a murderer with multiple personality disorder?

To find out the answer to this we went to the local zoo to interview some koalas. Unfortunately the intern we sent into the cage was ripped to bits by the koalas. Sadly the only thing that survived the encounter was a tape recorder that we had the foresight to place into a hard plastic box which we had strapped to our recently deceased intern before he went inside. Below is the transcript from that tape recorder, which contains the final words of Brad, our recently deceased intern.

Brad: Uhh... excuse me... little guy? Can I ask you a question.

*noises, sounds of leaves being eaten*

Brad: Hey. You're kinda cute. So... uh... have you seen the movie Executive koala? It's a movie about a talking koala. You can't talk can you?

Your suffering will be legendary, even in Australia!

At this point we should note that Brad really wasn't very bright.

Brad: Say, can I pet you? Its OK. Its OK. Look, I won't hurt you. See? Friend. Friend.

*shrill cry, followed by screaming*


That's about all we got from the interview. Sadly we didn't really get much insight into the mind of Tamura, a man-sized walking, talking koala. But we did learn that real koalas are vicious little creatures that will rip out your eyes and urinate into your skull. And no, we're not just using a cliche, Brad literally had a skull full of koala pee. How will this help you understand the movie? Well it won't, but we had to do something with our intern... he was drinking too much of our free coffee... which isn't actually free by the way, I pay for it...

But I digress.

This will be the best review about a talking koala businessman ever!

Executive koala follows the Japanese school of absurdist humor, and during the course of the movie Tamura will be brainwashed, unbrainwashed, fight kung-fu style, go to prison, get beat up, buy convenience food from a talking frog and avenge his koala ancestors. If you're intimidated by this title you might want to skip Kawasaki's other films The Rug Cop (as in toupee) and The World Sinks Except Japan, but I should tell you that after Executive koala I'll be looking forward to these other titles.

See how hard the koala works for your amusement?

By the time we finished watching the movie the only thing The Damned and I wanted to do was watch it over again. Having developed a taste for Japanese absurdist humor over the years, I can tell you that Executive koala is eighty-five minutes of high-grade crazy goodness. However, I realize that this type of movie isn't for everyone. Its far more absurd than even Zebraman, and doesn't have the same child-like appeal of watching a zebra based superhero; but it does show that the Japanese have absurdist humor down to an art form.

He's not creepy at all!

...or a wife beater.

To sum it up, Executive koala is very much like kimchi, not everyone can eat it, but if you can you'll probably enjoy it.

And here, of course, is the trailer for Executive Koala. Enjoy!