Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Luvs Yoo a Kitteh

Greetings Sporefans. Many of you are probably wondering why I haven’t posted a movie review lately. Well, there are many reasons... things have been hectic, I was in a bacon eating contest (took second place), I had to fix a sink... but I wanted to dispel one myth that has been going around the Internets.

That I’ve been abducted by cats from outer space.

I iz not from speece.

No Sporefans, nothing could be further from the truth. First off, there are no such things as cats from outer space. Clearly this is some sort of fantasy, as the only cats that exist in the world are regular, non-outer space cats.

I iz just reglar kitteh. You no trusts me? Why dat?

Now while there are no such things as cats from outer space, there are some very real cats who might need homes; and because everyone likes pictures of cute kittehs, I have included some in this post of cats who might need a place to stay for a while. Say, until the galactic pol... I mean, because they need warm milk and tuna. Ha. Ha ha! What other reason would a cat need a place to stay? Ha ha ha! That’s right. They need good homes in the central Jersey area. Yes, in the central area of New Jersey, only a short drive from Grover’s Mill!

I eatz de tuna. Can? What dat? I eatz whole fish!

Now I just want to assure all of my readers that these are perfectly normal cats. There’s nothing strange about them what-so-ever. They don’t speak or fly in space ships. And they certainly don’t hold tiny laser guns in their tiny paws while making someone write a blog post to find them homes to stay in. That idea is absurd. Certainly nothing like that could ever happen.

Whats u rite? I wan see. It kute?

And if these kittehs do wind up getting nice homes, I’m very certain that they won’t be starting some sort of plot to take over the world by creating a large device that hypnotizes people with waves of cuteness. No, the minds of the people of Earth are certainly safe from being enslaved by feline overlords from the planet Mewownia. Whoever started that rumor on the Internet Has somE serious probLems. Some People have way too Much timE on their hands.

U looks tastee. Can I haz yur soul?

So if you would like a regular, terrestrial, non-alien cat of average cat intelligence, why not leave your name and contact information on the Luvs Yoo a Kitteh page on that Facebook thingie that they’ve got there? I hear there are a lot of good things out there on “The Facebook,” and none of them involve plots to take over the Earth with brainwashing waves of cute. In fact, I’d like to...

Dis not rite. What yoo say on compooter? Someting up!

Hey! What are you doing? No! No! I did my part! No, not the cute ray! not the cute ray!


Obeys dis kitteh! Takes me home!