Wednesday, December 22, 2010


First, let me welcome you back to the tome. You’ve probably noticed the shiny new changes. There will be some formatting problems with old posts, but I think you’ll like the new look.

Also, I have some music for you. Go ahead. Play it.


Contrary to what you might think Sporefans, I am not dead. And I have not forgotten you. I’ve just been very busy with this “edumacation” thing. But that’s about to change. Not because I’ve graduated. Not because I quit. I’m just taking a little break from the book learnin’. I have become sooo very, very S.M.R.T. smart that I keep falling over from all the brains crammed into my head.

So here’s the deal; with no classes in the way I have until September to write whatever I choose. I have to admit that I have  been writing this last semester. As some of you already know, I’ve been cheating on my readers with fiction. I’m sorry, but fiction is just soooo much better in the sack than movie reviews. You should see this thing fiction does with it’s elbows, I mean...

Um. Well... some things might be better left unsaid. There are probably children out there. Not reading this, but out there. Somewhere.

Today I’m outlining my new goals for the coming year. The first order of business is a new poll. The question is, “Should there be ads on the Spored_to_Death tome?” I’m sorry to say this, but being a freelance blogger who writes movie reviews doesn’t pay the bills. Or at all. However, the revenue generated from ads would probably not pay the bills either; but it might be enough to buy a stick of gum. Maybe I can save up for a Pez dispenser.

I’m not going to go crazy with the ads. They would just be banner ads, nothing that would pop up and obscure my wonderful text. That would defeat the point. You would have the option to click on them, or not to click on them. I’ll even see if I can target them to your tastes so you don’t get a bunch of ads for Viagra. Unless you want a bunch of ads for Viagra. Anyway, the poll is as follows, and believe it or not I will abide by the result of it.

Go ahead Sporefans, take my pole. Oh wait, I didn’t mean it like that!

...or did I?

Secondly, many of you are probably wondering how you can obtain some of my wonderful fiction. Some of you would also probably wonder how to stop obtaining my wonderful fiction. Apparently I disturb some of my friends and proof readers. But as I get more compliments than I do complaints I’m going to start assembling my work and submit it for publication. There will be a volume of short stories and then later a novel. The first chapter of the novel got good reviews, so I’m gonna run with it.

If I can’t get a publisher to pick up my book, I’ll release it as an eBook on I feel that Lulu has a less restrictive censorship policy than Amazon and I have a tendency to write in a very, um... Mamet-esqe diction. Or Tarantino-ese for your film buffs. If possible I’ll release it on multiple fronts, but I’m not editing out all the good stuff just to get a better spot on either a real or virtual bookshelf. Go big or go home.

Finally, I’d like to plug another blog that I’m doing part time work for. They don’t have a name yet, but right now they’re calling themselves the Untitled Nerdy Life Project. Nerdocalypse is in the lead for the official title, and when it gets up and running I’ll post a quick link (update: Oooh look; there it is).  I’m doing short pieces on video games in education, video games as narrative and I might even expand to do video games in politics and in society.

I just finished a piece about an exploding chicken.

Their readers will become my readers, and hopefully my readers will become theirs. Just don’t forget to come back here when you’re done. Also its a great chance to see my write about something in a serious manner. I take my video game politics very, very seriously.

Finally, I just want to say that I take to heart the words of my first creative writing professor, “Butts in seats write stories.” My butt’s been in the seat, but for the last three years I’ve been writing for someone else. I keep getting these “grades” but they’re not paying the bills and they’re not satisfying my ego. And I have a rather large ego.

For the first time in a long time I can write what I want, where I want and how I want it! I hope you will all take some small measure of consolation in the fact that I have spent the last couple of years honing myself in my craft. The new reviews are coming, and I think that they’re going better than the old ones. After all, I’ve been spending a lot of time honing.

Up next: Sharktopus.


esuarez said...

All that fancy book learning been making you soft boy. Writing about sacks and how things feel good in them. They teach ya that in the city? I did not know what they teach at the fancy college of yours, but I know my sack feels write all da time.

The post was very inspirational even the spirit killing part that read up next...sharktopus. That's like watching a family picnic and seeing a mushroom cloud in impact in the background.

Spored_to_Death said...

What's all this about sacks? What have you been doing with your copy of Little Big Planet?

I like the fact that it's a "mushroom" cloud as well that pops into your head.